The Comfort of Strangers

The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on.

8514335397_fbd82b3340_z

What I want to say here is : You can go from being strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends.. And then being practically strangers again. #LifeToday

You know what I feel? We should let people remain strangers, for they are better that way. People remain with each other for a lifetime only when they allow themselves to be away for a while. We don’t just inhale, inhale and inhale. We need to exhale too, in order to breathe properly. Isn’t it? Likewise,  strangeness is important between two people, no matter how long they are together. I don’t think its possible to be a good friend without being a bit of stranger.

We all start as strangers to each other but end up being something else. That something else may be any relation. And the moment we give a name to that relation..the voltage starts fluctuating. The moment you start opening up to them, start thinking of letting them enter your life and start expecting the same from them, it no longer remains what it should be. You try to remain as close to them as you can.. and want. You try to hold on to them. They try to hold on to you. You feel happy to have them in your life and they feel the same. You now know them fully. They know you fully. No wonder you believe that you are perfect together. But are you really? Expectations and judgments introduce themselves, one by one. N Whoa.. you gradually open your eyes and realize for the first time that roses don’t come without thorns. Life becomes monotonous, you sulk but accept and let it go on, when in reality it becomes stagnant. But you don’t want to leave them. Even when you become so used to them that you stop needing them. The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on. You go back to being strangers again.

And that is when you think of meeting new people. Or as they are called..Strangers. You need someone again. The cycle repeats. Now, where does that leaves you?

I ask, what is the need to know every person that you meet? In spite of having so many friends, relatives and a lover(possibly), why does the need to make new friends arise? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

Getting comfortable with people whom you know well, is definitely satisfying. But not in the long run. It turns you greedy. It makes you complain, it forces you to depend. It makes you lose your interest in yourself. When you don’t know people, you treat them better and vice versa. Strangers make better friends if we let them remain like that, but when friends turn into strangers, its worse. People just don’t understand this. I am not saying that one should not make friends, but you can be a stranger to people and at the same time also being a friend to them.. you know? being detached while being attached. Some strangers you have known for a few years, some for a few months, some a few days, some you have just come to know, but you are strangers. Even your husband/wife/parents/other people with whom you have lived for years are strangers. Two strangers living together by and by become familiar, that’s all.

So. Learn to wait. Learn to be free. Never be afraid of strangers. Remember, however long you have lived with a person, you still will remain strangers. Being with a stranger has freshness. Don’t try to make it stale. Never hold people. And don’t allow them to hold you.

Let yourself be a mystery. All you need is strangers, for good company and good memories.

Tc! :)

A Tale of Sometimes

SITEsometimesemail01

Sometimes you just have to jhelofy people. This usually happens at times when you don’t want to interact with those very people, and you don’t know how to shoo them away and then you just have to sit there and wait patiently (while inside you have a volcano ready to erupt) for them to either finish with their gibberish or if you are lucky enough, when they leave. Kasam se, God takes the test of your patience in such awful ways.

Sometimes you get a reality check about people whom you love and for whom you are ready to do anything(and you do too), but when it comes to your needs, they are just as indifferent and unresponsive, as if you don’t matter at all to them. The very fact that you think they are everything to you and vice versa, seems like such a waste of time and efforts. But then you go on, like a fool, thinking that letting go is the only option if you want things to work smoothly, when actually mein, you should give them a BPL and let them go. Cupid, you a**hole.

Sometimes, some things happen when you realize that those people, whom you consider as very good friends and on the front it looks the same from their end too, are not actually your friends. That they are just some people you know. And you are the people whom they know, that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. When you feel that finally you’ve got someone to hang around with, to crack jokes with, to spend some quality time, you get to know that they are, in truth, very self-absorbed and so wrapped up in their own thoughts, feelings and sensations that they have a hard time seeing beyond the boundary of their own noses, let alone how shiny yours might be. That is, they’re just not that into you! They’re much more into themselves. Poor you!

Sometimes, you just want to sit by the window, look out but stare at nothing or you just want a hot cup of coffee and a good book to read,wearing your favorite pyjamas and t-shirt, when you just want to be with yourself,  but all that you end up with is others. No matter how much you hate favor bank(It’s the most powerful bank in the world, and you’ll find it in every sphere of life.), you are trapped, and now you’ll have to work according to the rules. You cant close the account so easily babe. In fact, marte dum tak, you cant, and you wont be able to close your account. Arthi uthane k liye bhi chaar logon ki help lagegi! So.

Sometimes, you don’t need others to be with you. You need only to be with yourself. Living in the fantasy world, for a while, wont hurt. Be friends with yourself. Expressing everything, every time will only create chaos (a friend said this to me – cant ever forget this statement). Own your issues, and deal with them.

And sometimes, you just babble, in your mind. And then scribble it down too. Just like I have been doing since past few mins. And it makes you feel better. No matter how strong and brave you are, you sometimes need to let it out. And since you cant throw pillows at people in office, posts like this come up.

Anyways people, Am done for today. Be good, take care..have a nice Tuesday!! :)

New Year Post.

Ok People, Happy New Year! I know its a lil late for wishes, but whatever. Its just another year.

This is a quick post. I dont really have anything to write. Just a few words, here and there.

I will not talk about the year that went by, mostly because I am disappointed that the world failed to end. Mayans must be laughing at us for believing them. But anyways, here we are, in 2013, when there is no similar prophecy that could excite us.

I am not going to talk about 2013 either, cz I don’t know what it has in store for me. Hoping for the best is a very boring statement, specially when I am not hoping  for anything currently. I have only one resolution for this year and that is : Using more brains and less emotions.

Girls, it is in yourself you will find your strength,the strength you need. Also, you need to be more active and alert. Guys, you need to know your limits.

Idiots will always find a way to provoke you, but stay calm and tell the world to eff it off. Read more. Sleep more. Eat more. Drink more coffee!

*No comments about how much to work.* Also, most importantly, Love more and Care less!

I’ll finish the post at this final note:

tumblr_mfxn5mhQbM1qz8rpeo1_500

Here, here at the start of all things new.  Here, the time for stepping forward into the next.  Here, here at the opening of new pages in the new book you are writing of yourself.  New chapters to fill with new ink, new stories to come from new blood, new tears, new high notes of laughter.  Here, here at the start, hold my hand while I draw these letters now.  Hold my hand while it covers itself in the black and red and perfect blue of new.

Cedar Waxwings Gathering on Treetops Silhouette (by TylerKnott)

So you guys enjoy and have a nice week ahead! :)

Pathologic Self-Love

Reblogged from Life is Mysterious:

Click to visit the original post

Narcissists are charming, exasperating, captivating and sometimes downright ludicrous; the weird world of the megalomaniac.

Narcissism isn't just a combination of monumental self-esteem and rudeness. As a personality type, it ranges from a tendency to a serious clinical disorder, encompassing unexpected, even counterintuitive behavior. Real-life narcissists, however, desperately need other people to validate their own worth. It is not so much being liked.

Read more… 1,752 more words

Awesome post! Narcissists need no one else but themselves. They think about no one and nothing. In a way they feed on others(soul and heart) and leave them when they are of no more use.

MINDSCAPES

You don’t get anywhere if you don’t depend on people around you. - Paulo Coelho

Very true. But don’t you breathe with your own nose, eat with your own hands and mouth and remain alive with your own heart beating inside your own body?

When you have people in your life, with whom you interact and live, its hard to remain aloof for long. No matter how much you want to be with your own self for a while, they wont leave you alone. I really don’t know if this is good or bad. I think its good to have people in your life who care for you so much, but then it’s actually a little frustrating when you don’t get any time for yourself, just because the people who care about you so much wont leave you alone or may be you don’t want to make them sad or leave them wondering that why would you not respond them or be with them in the way it has always been, in the way that usually suits them, makes them happy and satisfied.

Why are people always averse to being alone? Why do they feel that if a person is alone, he is undergoing some sort of depression or that if he lives alone, he is a questionable character? Why don’t they understand that alone does not mean lonely? If a person wants to speak less or remain alone for sometime, then he must not be disturbed. People must understand that being alone is not fearful or disheartening or unhappy. Being alone means sans the notional crutches in our mind which we get so accustomed to and dependent upon. These can take the form of one’s kith and kin, near and dear ones. Some are part and parcel of life, others are self cultivated. Their existence and presence in our life breeds mutual expectations. Man is a social animal does not mean that man cannot be alone. It is not always important to adhere to the so called rules that one has to be with the community in order to survive. That if you are alone, you are being selfish. A person connects with people because he likes companionship, but it is not true that companionship only makes a person complete. If you cant connect to your self being, you cannot connect to others. And in order to remain connected to the world, its imperative that you remain connected to yourself, your inner being. And just that is why being alone, spending some time in solitude, without interacting to anyone, is essential.

The problem is people don’t understand this simple concept. “Man is a social animal”, this phrase is inked in their small minds and it acts as oxygen for another term, known as Society.What people need to understand is that sometimes solitude is like a short break from day-to-day life to re-energize , rejuvenate and re-focus your mental faculties. They need to work upon the phrase of “He is a free bird”, from time to time. They need to let the person breathe through his own nose and think through his own mind.

As Parker Palmer has explained this in his book  A Hidden Wholeness : Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather it means never living apart from one’s self. It is not about absence of other people — it’s about being fully present to ourselves, whether or not we are with others.

You must enter in
To the small silences between the leaves,
You must take your time
And touch the very peace
They issue from.

Tc people. Have a nice weekend!