Some of these moments will be arriving in my life next week. I have to attend my friend’s engagement. I don’t want to attend it. I would be left alone..inspite of being with so many people over there.But then being with so many people makes me feel more lonely. I feel uncomfortable after some time.
The scene would be :
The aunties of the house will be busy with work..and since I dont visit them much..even if I offer them my help..i wont be of much help really.. isn’t it? Cz they only know the inside out plans n procedures. I would just add to the chaos. Then some mutual friends would be there. So some light talks and the on-goings of life n similar ghise pite conversations would happen. Some more Q would come up.. the most horrible of those would be ” So.. what are the plans of your marriage? ” and I would feel like going and drowning myself in one spoon water. 😐 Eventually I would move away from them and find myself standing alone or exploring my cell phone for some 100th time. Now that would also have to end no? Now what? It sucks..Right? Just how much can you interact with people..? During such occasions I feel that I am so very unsocial. So a new Q comes up : Is it wrong to be unsocial?
I dont know.
I dont like being with people. I like being alone. I like being in my own world. I mean..i like making friends.. but I dont like going on with interactions just for the sake of it. People these days meet each other mostly to ask for some favors and such stuff. And on the other hand I find no reason to meet new people. Rarely do I find people who really want to talk about some good stuff..some rich stuff and not just business and money and all those overly materialistic stuff. I hate those get togethers and parties where I just have to keep that plastic smile on my face after the hellos n hi’s n prelims of laughter n fun gets over. I hate being a part of such stretched moments. I cant attend such functions for others. And if any such situation comes up , what I want is to attend the function just for an hour or so. Just so that both sides are happy. I really really cant go on being alone with others present and pretending to be so happy that these are the only moments they were waiting for. Fake. All of them fake.
Watching people can be a cure.. but that would be a temporary one. I cant just watch people for long no? they would become doubtful. 😛
So.. the end-line comes as I don’t like being social. And i also don’t like to be forced to become social. I have my friends with whom I am comfortable enough and even if i don’t meet them for months, I don’t feel alone. being social may be an art of some people.. but I cant count myself as one of those.
Being social is NOT just me..!!