There was rage. On his face.. in his mind..in his heart. He had never expected this to happen. He had never expected to be left behind, when He, who was the controlling one in their relationship.
“I am leaving, not to come back ever. Don’t expect that I’ll give in. This time, its over ..and its over for good.” TWSS. These very words were rolling and rolling in his mind, making him ready to burst out somewhere, anywhere. His mind went blank. Nothing was helping. 4 bottles of beer and 2 packs of cigarette were finished in past 1 hour. Where should he go? What should he do? Whom should he call? Nothing was helping him! She was gone. And.. he believed this. All those previous times when she always came back to him, even when he was the one who left her alone..this time he knew..deep inside, that she was gone. Forever. He felt empty and lost. He had never felt anything so strongly.. may be because he never tried to love her so strongly and passionately.He sat there looking into nothing. He never knew when tears welled up in his eyes.
Swiping them away he smoked another cigarette. Anger swelled up again. How could she do this to him? What did she think of herself..that she would leave him and he would sit back and stare? Screw her! She would pay for this. Yes. He wasn’t one to be defeated. What he dint know was, that he had already lost .. lost her long back.. that he had no competitor. What he dint know was, that Love was no race to be won.
He got up..only to stumble down back on the couch. Cursing loudly, he got up with due difficulty. Steadying himself he went to the bathroom and washed his face. Feeling better and somewhat back to senses, he went out, speeding his car into the night. He was desperate, he wanted her back,to teach her lesson for doing this to him. Only thing he forgot that he wanted her because he still loved her. But the defeat had blinded him. Drunk and lost and empty minded, he was driving without any sense of direction or where to find her. All the rush in his mind, the pressure of getting his pride back and the tears falling down blurring his already fuzzy vision failed him to see the big vehicle that was coming straight in his direction.
He lay there, alone..his thoughts traveling between consciousness and un-consciousness, thoughts of him and her, blurred images from the past, of her laughter and his defeat. He could no longer take in and resigned to those memories. Now, not only she, but he had also left..never to come back. This time it was over. Forever.