The Comfort of Strangers

The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on.

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What I want to say here is : You can go from being strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends.. And then being practically strangers again. #LifeToday

You know what I feel? We should let people remain strangers, for they are better that way. People remain with each other for a lifetime only when they allow themselves to be away for a while. We don’t just inhale, inhale and inhale. We need to exhale too, in order to breathe properly. Isn’t it? Likewise,  strangeness is important between two people, no matter how long they are together. I don’t think its possible to be a good friend without being a bit of stranger.

We all start as strangers to each other but end up being something else. That something else may be any relation. And the moment we give a name to that relation..the voltage starts fluctuating. The moment you start opening up to them, start thinking of letting them enter your life and start expecting the same from them, it no longer remains what it should be. You try to remain as close to them as you can.. and want. You try to hold on to them. They try to hold on to you. You feel happy to have them in your life and they feel the same. You now know them fully. They know you fully. No wonder you believe that you are perfect together. But are you really? Expectations and judgments introduce themselves, one by one. N Whoa.. you gradually open your eyes and realize for the first time that roses don’t come without thorns. Life becomes monotonous, you sulk but accept and let it go on, when in reality it becomes stagnant. But you don’t want to leave them. Even when you become so used to them that you stop needing them. The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on. You go back to being strangers again.

And that is when you think of meeting new people. Or as they are called..Strangers. You need someone again. The cycle repeats. Now, where does that leaves you?

I ask, what is the need to know every person that you meet? In spite of having so many friends, relatives and a lover(possibly), why does the need to make new friends arise? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

Getting comfortable with people whom you know well, is definitely satisfying. But not in the long run. It turns you greedy. It makes you complain, it forces you to depend. It makes you lose your interest in yourself. When you don’t know people, you treat them better and vice versa. Strangers make better friends if we let them remain like that, but when friends turn into strangers, its worse. People just don’t understand this. I am not saying that one should not make friends, but you can be a stranger to people and at the same time also being a friend to them.. you know? being detached while being attached. Some strangers you have known for a few years, some for a few months, some a few days, some you have just come to know, but you are strangers. Even your husband/wife/parents/other people with whom you have lived for years are strangers. Two strangers living together by and by become familiar, that’s all.

So. Learn to wait. Learn to be free. Never be afraid of strangers. Remember, however long you have lived with a person, you still will remain strangers. Being with a stranger has freshness. Don’t try to make it stale. Never hold people. And don’t allow them to hold you.

Let yourself be a mystery. All you need is strangers, for good company and good memories.

Tc! 🙂

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A Tale of Sometimes

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Sometimes you just have to jhelofy people. This usually happens at times when you don’t want to interact with those very people, and you don’t know how to shoo them away and then you just have to sit there and wait patiently (while inside you have a volcano ready to erupt) for them to either finish with their gibberish or if you are lucky enough, when they leave. Kasam se, God takes the test of your patience in such awful ways.

Sometimes you get a reality check about people whom you love and for whom you are ready to do anything(and you do too), but when it comes to your needs, they are just as indifferent and unresponsive, as if you don’t matter at all to them. The very fact that you think they are everything to you and vice versa, seems like such a waste of time and efforts. But then you go on, like a fool, thinking that letting go is the only option if you want things to work smoothly, when actually mein, you should give them a BPL and let them go. Cupid, you a**hole.

Sometimes, some things happen when you realize that those people, whom you consider as very good friends and on the front it looks the same from their end too, are not actually your friends. That they are just some people you know. And you are the people whom they know, that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. When you feel that finally you’ve got someone to hang around with, to crack jokes with, to spend some quality time, you get to know that they are, in truth, very self-absorbed and so wrapped up in their own thoughts, feelings and sensations that they have a hard time seeing beyond the boundary of their own noses, let alone how shiny yours might be. That is, they’re just not that into you! They’re much more into themselves. Poor you!

Sometimes, you just want to sit by the window, look out but stare at nothing or you just want a hot cup of coffee and a good book to read,wearing your favorite pyjamas and t-shirt, when you just want to be with yourself,  but all that you end up with is others. No matter how much you hate favor bank(It’s the most powerful bank in the world, and you’ll find it in every sphere of life.), you are trapped, and now you’ll have to work according to the rules. You cant close the account so easily babe. In fact, marte dum tak, you cant, and you wont be able to close your account. Arthi uthane k liye bhi chaar logon ki help lagegi! So.

Sometimes, you don’t need others to be with you. You need only to be with yourself. Living in the fantasy world, for a while, wont hurt. Be friends with yourself. Expressing everything, every time will only create chaos (a friend said this to me – cant ever forget this statement). Own your issues, and deal with them.

And sometimes, you just babble, in your mind. And then scribble it down too. Just like I have been doing since past few mins. And it makes you feel better. No matter how strong and brave you are, you sometimes need to let it out. And since you cant throw pillows at people in office, posts like this come up.

Anyways people, Am done for today. Be good, take care..have a nice Tuesday!! 🙂