The Comfort of Strangers

The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on.


What I want to say here is : You can go from being strangers. To being friends. To being more than friends.. And then being practically strangers again. #LifeToday

You know what I feel? We should let people remain strangers, for they are better that way. People remain with each other for a lifetime only when they allow themselves to be away for a while. We don’t just inhale, inhale and inhale. We need to exhale too, in order to breathe properly. Isn’t it? Likewise,  strangeness is important between two people, no matter how long they are together. I don’t think its possible to be a good friend without being a bit of stranger.

We all start as strangers to each other but end up being something else. That something else may be any relation. And the moment we give a name to that relation..the voltage starts fluctuating. The moment you start opening up to them, start thinking of letting them enter your life and start expecting the same from them, it no longer remains what it should be. You try to remain as close to them as you can.. and want. You try to hold on to them. They try to hold on to you. You feel happy to have them in your life and they feel the same. You now know them fully. They know you fully. No wonder you believe that you are perfect together. But are you really? Expectations and judgments introduce themselves, one by one. N Whoa.. you gradually open your eyes and realize for the first time that roses don’t come without thorns. Life becomes monotonous, you sulk but accept and let it go on, when in reality it becomes stagnant. But you don’t want to leave them. Even when you become so used to them that you stop needing them. The coffee cools, the cigarettes end, the music stops and life simply gets back to the old track. It moves on. You go back to being strangers again.

And that is when you think of meeting new people. Or as they are called..Strangers. You need someone again. The cycle repeats. Now, where does that leaves you?

I ask, what is the need to know every person that you meet? In spite of having so many friends, relatives and a lover(possibly), why does the need to make new friends arise? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.

Getting comfortable with people whom you know well, is definitely satisfying. But not in the long run. It turns you greedy. It makes you complain, it forces you to depend. It makes you lose your interest in yourself. When you don’t know people, you treat them better and vice versa. Strangers make better friends if we let them remain like that, but when friends turn into strangers, its worse. People just don’t understand this. I am not saying that one should not make friends, but you can be a stranger to people and at the same time also being a friend to them.. you know? being detached while being attached. Some strangers you have known for a few years, some for a few months, some a few days, some you have just come to know, but you are strangers. Even your husband/wife/parents/other people with whom you have lived for years are strangers. Two strangers living together by and by become familiar, that’s all.

So. Learn to wait. Learn to be free. Never be afraid of strangers. Remember, however long you have lived with a person, you still will remain strangers. Being with a stranger has freshness. Don’t try to make it stale. Never hold people. And don’t allow them to hold you.

Let yourself be a mystery. All you need is strangers, for good company and good memories.

Tc! 🙂



  1. Hey Archana..thanks for stopping by! 🙂
    Everyone likes unraveling mysteries, but all that I feel is, they are mysteries for a reason. If you unravel them, for a while you’ll feel amazing to have a key to something that most probably others don’t have. But what after a while? It wont remain a mystery always na? You’ll eventually move on to unravel other mysteries, leaving the previous one behind, as it would lose its charm..


  2. I would like to rid a lot of my negativities. So I use people for this purpose. My personality is such that I would like to unburden myself and in this pursuit I find I can unburden different things with different people. I have been lucky to find a soul-mate with whom I’ve been able to unburden almost my entire self and there are only two secrets I haven’t been able to tell her. There is one major secret I haven’t told anyone but all the rest I’ve told someone or the other. Over the past 17 years I’ve come to realise that she too has unburdened most of her secrets and in this knowledge of each other we feel quite secure with one another. But I know life can hold surprises, and that is why I feel like acknowledging whatever you’ve said though I don’t like the world to be that way.


  3. Hey Praveen, 1) Thanks for liking the post. 🙂
    2) I totally agree with you. Keeping some distance helps in seeing things clearly.. avoids mess.


  4. Once I was telling my friend who is in IT job similar thing. I felt that most of the IT guys think in terms of discrete sets i.e they categorize people & their relations. And think that they won’t let them interact between each other or had them mix.I agree to it & being an engineer I also apply it.
    However, it seems a novice idea. Things do get mixed up in life even if you try hard that they do not. When they do mix – you get a new situation to deal with,So why not start dealing it now. Saves you time & tension in future mix-ups.
    Nice post. 🙂


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