I know, I know. I am attempting to ruin your favourite film; don’t kill me. I like it too. It’s every desi’s favourite film. And, well, why shouldn’t it be? It’s over three fucking hours long, and god knows how we love to make up for the short things in our lives with long ass movies.
I have decided to rewind Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.
DDLJ opens with a sad shot of fobby store owner London dad Baldev (Amrish Puri) feeding birds while reminiscing about India after having reached the stars in Vilayat.
Oh, and he’s totally trippin’ balls.
While uncle is busy seeing shapes in the sky, let me introduce you to his family.
Meet annoying smartass 12-year-old Chutki, who ideally should have been killed by Paresh Rawal in King Uncle, and max Punjabi mummy jee, Lajjo.
Of course, this family is uninteresting as shit without Simran, the teenage…
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