When it comes to love, Mom’s the word.

Its my mom’s birthday today! Its not an ordinary day. Its my mom’s birthday!

Its June and my mom’s birthday falls on this day, in this month. The exciting feeling of  “mummy ka birthday hai aaj toh”  lingers for the whole month and I kinda feel sad when July starts. It feels as if something is left behind. It feels as if 1 more year just went by, silently pushing my mom towards the path from where she would never come back one day. As I write this, I realize that celebrating birthdays is just a way to forget that we just lost 1 more year of our life. But it doesn’t appears so bad when we think for ourselves, it feels worse when it comes to our parents, specially Mothers. I never felt in such a way before. And trust me, I have no idea at all, why my mind is filled with such thoughts today. As happy as I am today that its her birthday and as I fervently wish her to live forever, at the same time, the bitter truth of losing her someday, dawns on me and no matter how hard I try to control my tears, they just fall down wetting my cheeks.

Moms are special! Very very special! I believe everyone will find that true. Just one Mother’s day in a year is not enough for them, nor is this one post.  I have no particular reason as to why I am writing this post today out of all days. My heart is full. And today is the best day to write down everything that I feel for her. Thoughts and feelings that I don’t think I’ll ever say to her. Expressing my love for her in this way is a gift in a way that I’d like to present her. Most moms are practical on the front and they like remaining that way. My mom is the same and so its better penning down it all instead of turning it into the moment of chaos.

I have always been a lazy child. And she has always been a patient and loving mother. I remember her slapping me twice and giving me a good beating once, in my life till now. I also remember her supporting me always, in whatever I do and say. Never did she discourage me for anything.  Now, spending money is an altogether different thing. But be it my low grades in school or its the choice of my clothes or the way my career took shape, she has always been at my side, unwavering. Living life on one’s own terms, along with handling all the responsibilities(dad specially) in the best-est way is not an easy thing to do..but that’s what she is a pro at. A workaholic, lover of sweets, a jolly natured person with a happy go lucky attitude is who my mom is. At times, I get frustrated over her oh-so-cool attitude and the way she let things go and moves on as if nothing happened..but in the end that very attitude makes her a winner!! I adore and respect her immensely. Having sacrificed a lot, and over time, gaining more than that is the one art I would always like to learn from her. No matter how tough she looks on the outside, I know, I believe deep within that she’s as soft and vulnerable and caring as a woman or rather a mother is. My mom is a sweetheart and the nicest of all persons that I know.

Hey Mom,

I love you! No matter how much I trouble you, I still love you! My life has been greatly sculpted by your influence and it is all for the better. I know that you and I have a deep connection and relationship that goes beyond this lifetime and will always do so!!

Happy Birthday to you Ma!! I wish you a life that is as wonderful as you are!!

PS : I am happy about having a hanky with me at this moment.

TC People!

The Zahir : Book Review

Some books, that can change one’s life forever, in many unexplained ways..

The Zahir is one such novel, written by famous author Paulo Coelho. I read this book long time back, dunno.. may be some 6 years ago. When I read it then, I found it as a nice book. I had liked it a lot. But a lot has changed since then..with regards to myself.  A few days back, as I was going through my Shelfari book list, this book caught my eye. Something stirred within me and I felt this sudden need to read the book again. And now, when I finished reading it, it was a completely different experience. It taught me a lot.

Zahir, in arabic means means Obsession, a thing, which completely fills your mind, and you cant think of anything but that thing..!!

Plot : The story mainly consists of 3 characters, The narrator, Esther and Mikhail..and the journey is put down in 4 parts :

I AM A FREE MAN, HANS’S QUESTION, ARIADNE’S THREAD, THE RETURN TO ITHACA.

The narrator is a famous writer who is living a comfortable life. All is going well(so he thinks) until one day, when he discovers that Esther, his wife has disappeared. Was she kidnapped?murdered? (well, she was a war correspondent), or eloped? (with the guy called Mikhail, she used to talk about)? The search begins. The narrator meets Mikhail who promises to take him to Esther. But not before making him realize that in order to find his wife, he must find himself. That the life that he calls perfect is not at all perfect, its too materialistic and fake to be called as Life. The obsession to find Esther turns into a journey that shows the narrator and the readers too, that it is always important to know when something has reached its end..that whatever that has started should always meet its end. His meetings with Mikhail force him to analyse his marriage and where he went wrong. This journey that begins with searching Esther ends in understanding energy of love and getting back the real self that was lost somewhere while climbing up the path..

The book is written in typical Paulo Coelho’s style, where the readers dont just find it as a story, but a pilgrimage that they are doing. Parts of the book are written in Paris and St-Martin in France, in Madrid and Barcelona in Spain, in Amsterdam, on a road in Belgium, in Almaty and on the Kazakhstan steppes. Every word that he writes is valuable..at least to me. All that is written feels like its going on within. He has used some real life illustrations. Coping with loss of loved ones is never easy, but if you try and look upon the past, you’ll find it easy enough to let go and stop blaming others for what you lost cz of your own mistakes. The words chosen and the conversations are amazing. At some points I really found it hard to believe that someone can be so true about what actually should happen instead of what usually happens. I found the book highly inspiring. It is not a self help book, mind you. At times the book becomes a little heavy, but all through the read, it keeps the readers bound to its concept. With The Zahir, Paulo Coelho demonstrates his powerful and fascinating storytelling along with an ingenious insight into relations, energy of love, soul searching and letting go of all that stops you from completing the journey of life in actual terms.

Well, I learnt a lot from The Zahir. It taught me:

  • How to maintain a relationship well.
  • Expressing love is very important.
  • You should constantly empty your heart, mind and soul of the past so that there is space for new thoughts.
  • Conversations help a lot.

Some of my favorite quotes are :

  • Complete the circle. Not out of bride, inability to arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.
  • In the last few decades, expectations about marriage as the road to personal fulfillment have grown considerable, as have disappointments and dissatisfaction.
  • If what makes us happy is different from what we have now, then we must either change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy.
  • We can let the energy of love flow instead of placing it in a jar and leaving it aside.
  • ..there is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence.

I give full marks to The Zahir and would highly recommend it to you readers. It is a beautiful journey that gives an insight into oneself and should not be missed. I hope you guys enjoy it. Tc!!

She Loves Him…

She loves him…just why doesn’t he understands this?
He says that he loves her…n she knows that he does but then he never expresses it. She waits for him but he never pays attention to all the hours, minutes n seconds that she spent on waiting for just to hear his voice.
She sometimes wonders that may be this is his way of loving her… but then ways do change at least once in a while..may b temporarily.. isn’t it? But then wondering leads to no where. She finds herself waiting as ever..satisfying herself with a bleak response from him at times when he wishes to.
She’s always told to understand his busyness and that definitely a time will come when she will get the love, attention ,care and all that stuff that is shared in such a relation. As the time moves on..she doest do but goes on understanding his priorities more and more just because she feels that this will lead to some golden moments in the near future..!
She does all that is expected from her …but then she is told not to keep any expectations in return just because He may not get time to fulfill them. He says that he loves her…n she knows that he does..!
                                      She has a lot to tell him..she has a lot to share
                                      He has a lot to do..and cannot lend an ear
                                      She loves him thats why she bears it all
                                      In spite of knowing that he wont be there if she falls
                                      He wants some more time all the time
                                      She goes on giving him time without a chime
                                      She doesn’t even knows the outcome of this wait
                                      N accepts Him as if he is her only Fate
                                      She will leave the world just to make him happy
                                      But that doesn’t bothers him and his lappy
                                      She sighhs and tries to keep herself busy
                                      His inconsistent attitude makes her eyes a little fuzzy
                                      Often tears fall down her cheeks
                                      But she brushes them off in wait for happy weeks
                                      She loves him -No matter what the story is
                                      He gloves his feelings – No matter what her pain is….
Still  She Loves Him….